One research paper (for major subject), two reports (major too), 2 incomplete subjects (one major)..sigh. I thought moving out of the house to get close to work and to focus more on studies afterwards would make things better.
Apart from the time wasted on travel and money spent on cabs (I’m always late), I could say that it was better when I still stayed home. My mind is not as muddled as it was now.
Or maybe, just maybe, I keep on thinking things that shouldn’t need to be thought over. I’m still stuck on fantasies, my mind keeps on replaying thoughts, re-enactments, stills, getting me back from square one over and over again. Meanwhile, my reality is starting to get duller and duller.
I’m building walls around me, confining on stuff that is for cry-babies and immature people. I don’t have real friends (except for one bestfriend whom I rarely see), just acquaintances. No romances, no one-night stands, no flings, no flirts.
I am an empty shell of a person.
Which is why I need to write down everything, I guess. No matter how cliched, no matter how many people have been thinking this line of thought and going about it more creatively and passionately than I do, I still must continue.
Only to keep me sane.